There are decisive moments when we all know the next decision we make will affect the rest of our lives.
My decisive moment came on a stress-free Saturday morning after I had just completed my 7th Combat Deployment. I was at home with my family, and we were going to take the dog to the beach, but instead, we decided last minute to pack up the kids and get some breakfast first. We got in the car and were driving out of the neighborhood when my wife asked, “Where’s Remi?”- our dog.
At that exact moment, I snapped. I was instantaneously transported back to Afghanistan. Back to the night when my Multi-Purpose Canine Bronko was killed by enemy fire and multiple grenades as we were clearing a building.
A Decisive Moment
The explosion collapsed the doorway to the bunker, and I had a standing blackout from the explosion. Just moments later, we were ordered to move out and leave Bronko behind. As we were waiting to board the helicopter, one of the guys asked me, “Where’s Bronko?” That statement created a switch in my head. How dare he not know what happened to Bronko? And three years later, my wife had just flipped that switch back on.
My next decision was to slam the car in reverse and instantly execute a textbook J – turn, basically scaring the living shit out of my wife and kids. All of them were screaming, and I was just executing a subconscious function to return to the house and retrieve my dog. Like nothing had happened. It didn’t even register with me what I had done until my wife screamed at me to pull over.
She pulled the kids from the car and told me to “Fix my shit!” At least, that’s what I thought she said. In reality, all I heard was the “Waa Waa Waa” of Charlie Brown’s Mom as my wife mouthed sharp words at me and stared at me with horror in her eyes. At that moment, I knew I had to get help. That’s the point when I said, “I have done enough. I have to fix my shit. And I can’t do it by myself”.
Take Action
We all know when we reach that point when we should reach out for help. And we also love our jobs. We fear losing our edge. We fear losing the respect of our co-workers when “we can’t handle our shit.” The thing to remember is it takes more courage to ask for help when you need it than it does to cover up the cracks in your armor until the day it gets you or someone you care about killed.